“If they take my stapler, then I’ll set the building on fire.”

For a long time, Office Space was a friend test for me: If you’d heard of it, you were OK, if you’d seen it and laughed, you were certainly worth having lunch with. If you could quote it, you were instant inner circle. My best friend/boss and I bonded when she noticed that I had a novelty box full of Pieces of Flair on my desk.

My friend Elana actually worked on that movie, wrangling extras in Austin. I remember when she told me about it, I was like, “Ugh, the Beavis and Butthead guy? Really?” But she assured me that it was great. She was, of course, correct. She told me years later that she stayed friends with a lot of people she met on that job, so I am left with the impression that at least some of it was as fun to make as it is to watch. 

But there are other staplers with more wince-worthy cinematic claims. Drag Me to Hell has a nasty scene. Deadpool staples a mask to his face. John Wick and Mark Watney patch up their wounds with staplers. Less troubling, Batman uses one to threaten Commissioner Gordon in Batman Begins. Jeff Bridges uses a stapler to hem Robin Williams’ pants in The Fisher King (Writing that sentence, it really feels like it should be the other way around, but this is correct.)

Back to Office Space, I never knew anyone who bought the iconic red Swingline, but I know I bought myself a psychedelic purple one in the 2000s after someone stole my office-issued black one. It was a. mistake, because apparently it takes a weird size of staple. Fortunately, with the advent of the digital age, my need for staples decreased markedly and paperclips generally sufficed when needed!