Volunteering was never a big thing for me. We didn’t belong to a church when I was a kid and my mom was a misanthrope, so pretty much the only volunteering I did was for school or when I was hanging around the library where my dad worked. Then I went through a phase where I has lots of time but everyone seemed to want money, which was followed by a phase where I had some money but everyone wanted my time and I was already working 50 or 60 hours a week and doing laundry and other chores in the off hours.

I am in awe of people who just leap into action and make a difference. One of my BFFs from high school is like this. She is very involved in her church and service groups and I don’t know what all, and she will do just about anything to help anyone any time while also teaching preschool and running half marathons on the regular. I have been in awe of her for almost 40 years, and she hasn’t slowed down a bit.

Since arriving in Illinois, I’ve tried to reach out more. I’m back to hanging around the library, with varying degrees of actually being useful and just making more work. I joined a community group and have had maybe two good ideas that I completely flubbed when it came to execution. I have concluded that my volunteer life should probably reflect my professional life, wherein I have always felt most comfortable as a lieutenant—give me a destination; I’ll get the whole squad there unscathed. But don’t make me decide where we are going, or we will never leave the barracks.

I’ve made two good friends here who are a lot like my BFF. They are involved in pretty much every group, committee, and project going on in town. Any time I go into hibernation mode or light out for the territories for extended periods, they are the ones who get me up to speed when I venture out on the local streets again. And they seem to have forgiven me for my past transgressions, which is nice. Here’s hoping they can figure out how to put my lieutenant-y ways to some useful purpose—as if they don’t have enough to do!