Hands down, the most impressive display of spoonerisms I’ve witnessed were masterworks by the Capitol Steps, who talked about ducky lays and lirty dies, and were way—I mean, wayyyyyy—ahead of the curve in 1990 talking about Tronald Dump. You can Google those; you won’t be disappointed.

I do this when I’m overly animated. More than once I have howled at my son to Shake a Tower, which just leads to him shaking his head and wandering off to maybe or maybe not do as requested. I have caked occasional bakes. My dad always joked that he was about to deliver a blushing crow when he’d beat me at gin rummy or checkers.

However, most spoonerisms I find in the wild don’t have second meanings; they’re just nonsensical. I don’t know what you call those. Gaffes? Whatever they are, my husband rolls these things around in his mouth on occasion. Sometimes it’s obvious and accidental (ask him to say “shoulder surgery” and see what happens), but sometimes I feel like he’s doing them as verbal calisthenics, and honestly sometimes I wonder if he is aware he’s doing it out loud. One of my favorite memories is of when we were at his parents’ house and his older brother was playing guitar. He was letting of the kids (probably mine) strum with a pick, and he asked the kid “is that a Fender pick?” My husband then cocked his head and without really thinking or engaging, said, in this musing tone, “thender fick. Pender thick. Fender pick.” Then he saw me giving him a WTF stare and shrugged. “Sounds weird,” was his only explanation.

What’s your best spoonerism? Do you book the cooks? Do you eat belly jeans? Does Sarah at the shoeshine shop shine and sit, or does she do two other things? Mit he!