This recognition day encourages people to strike up conversations with strangers during elevator rides, aiming to break down social barriers and foster connections.

I can’t say I’m a fan of that, for the most part. I don’t spend much time on elevators these days, but when I did, my observation was that most people were pretty content to be left alone with their thoughts for that minute or so—and the elevator venue didn’t matter. Office buildings, shopping malls—it was all the same. Etiquette generally seemed to dictate that a simple “Hi there,” or even a nod was sufficient. If it was a cluster of women, an occasional “I like your earrings” seemed in bounds, but even that was a case-by-case thing. A lot of people wear ear buds. Some are very intent on avoiding eye contact.

There are two possible exceptions. One is at sporting events, where banter is acceptable but loud trash-talking is less welcome. (A little aggression in a jam-packed enclosed space goes a LONG way.) The other is at pet-friendly hotels, where it is generally OK to admire someone’s dog. But if it’s YOUR dog, you don’t get to say anything, especially if the other person on the elevator seems to be shrinking into a corner in mortal terror of your teacup Yorkie. Just make it clear you’ve got the matter in hand and leave them to their irrational phobia.

Even when it’s not a “breaking down social barriers” moment and you’re on the elevator with someone you know, conversation isn’t really necessary. It’s like talking on your phone on a bus. Nobody needs to hear your business, do they? “Hey, Bill, how’s your gall bladder?” is probably not what Bill wants to talk about, and it’s almost certainly not anything the other 12 people on the elevator want to hear about.

In fact, it is my contention that the only conversation that is really needed in an elevator is when some dork gets on first and blocks the button panel so that nobody else can select their floor. And that conversation can start out as a polite “excuse me,” but it doesn’t need to end that way if the person is a repeat offender or won’t move. Hey, a common enemy can break down barriers and foster connections among the others on the scene, right?