I’m in a trough as far as writing is concerned. Lots of ideas, followed by lots of self-doubt. Lots of looking around at what’s out there and getting discouraged. Lots of remonstrating with myself to just sit down and bang something out, lots of uncertainty about why I’d bother.
I’ve got one completed script that I thought was ready to shop to agents, and then I learned it’s unlikely to sell because I’m writing about a “fall through the cracks” age group. Books about high school freshmen fall through the cracks? This is what I was told. So now I’m not sure if I keep trying to shop that book, or if I tear it apart and start over, or if I just toss it in the ash can and do something else altogether.
I’ve got another basically completed book that is fun and silly and I’m not at all sure that it’s well written. It’s also sort of a one-off, although I suppose there could be sequel possibilities. I want a couple people to read it first and tell me where it needs smoothing out.
And then I’ve got another one I’m working on that I’m in love with, but by the time I finish it, that one will also be out of vogue.
The weird thing is, all of these are middle grade, and they’re all about boys. I have no idea how I landed here; I’m not a boy, I hated life when I was at the age I’m writing for. But the idea of writing a book as told by a 17-year-old girl bores me to death and seems like an exhausting prospect.
So then I stop thinking about writing and start thinking about agents. And marketing. And “should I change my blog address because I think my maiden name is better than my married name for sales purposes.” And, and, and. Because, you know, those decisions are really important right now, when it feels like actually getting published is unlikely to ever happen …. does that sound like I’m whining? I’m not, I’m laughing at myself for my inability to keep my eyes on the square of pavement right in front of me, rather than squinting at the horizon and woolgathering.
Maybe I need to ditch writing for a while and go back to reading. Or get more sleep. Or go play outside.
What do you do when your wheels are spinning?